Otherwise Known as Getting Old

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First of all, who the fuck can keep up with evolving music genre definitions and terms? Apparently not me. Over the past few years I have found myself getting into weird arguments with my teen-becoming-young-adult audiophile daughter. Arguments I obviously think I should win, seeing as I *lived* through the decades she claims to understand so well, at least in as far as music genres are concerned.

When I finally decided to troll around the interwebz (ie Wikipedia) (ie the new and improved arbiter of all things) to bolster my obviously correct viewpoint, I realized that a whole lotta somebodies have been waaaay too busy coming up with musical genre names and sub-categorizations that are… well… ultimately subjective IMHO.

And then we have iTunes. That tells me I apparently like “Chamber Pop”, which I had no idea even existed. Which Wikipedia doesn’t acknowledge exists. It is a real genre? Do I have to admit to listening to it in public? The world may never know. My daughter and I are certain to disagree about it, whatever the official answer. And I’m beginning to think there is no such thing as official when it comes to musical genres.

Don’t even get me going about punk.

When did punk rock become:

Anarcho punk • Crust punk • D-beat • Art punk • Deathrock • Digital Hardcore • Folk punk • Celtic punk • Cowpunk • Gypsy punk • Garage punk • Grindcore • Crustgrind • Noisegrind • Hardcore punk • Post-hardcore • Emo • Screamo • Thrashcore • Crossover Thrash Metal • Powerviolence • Street punk • Horror punk • Pop punk • Psychobilly • Riot grrrl • Ska punk • Skacore • Skate Punk • Post-punk • Gothic rock • No Wave • Noise rock • Alternative rock • Grunge • Post-grunge • Indie rock • Industrial rock • Noise pop • Nu metal • Post-punk revival • Post-rock • Post-metal • Sadcore • Shoegazer • Slowcore • Death metal • Goregrind • Doom metal • Folk metal • Gothic metal • Industrial metal • Metalcore • Deathcore • Sludge metal • Speed metal • Thrash metal • Crossover Thrash Metal… etc etc etc

I don’t mean to sound like an old curmudgeon, but I’m beginning to think I am one. WTF ppl?? Really?

In my day (oh my god here I go) we had five non-pop basic rock (not blues or r&b) genres: classic rock, hard rock, metal, punk, new wave. The bands that inched a little too close to commercial sound started being called “alternative”. Am I wrong? Was I asleep? When did I blink and miss the explosion of pretentious music genre naming committee meetings? I married a folk musician, had a kid, and forget to fiddle while Rome burns. Which any day now they are going to start calling a Slowgrind Riot Starter with strings.

I’m going back to sewing fabric together now. I call it “clothing”. I might listen to some gypsy folk crust pop wave while I work. Otherwise known as music. /rant


About dakinigrl

writer, loopy artist, mom, armchair visionary, guerilla know-it-all, elitist twat, both a dog and cat person, owner of a leather sofa
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